Rush Limbaugh (Leader of the Republican Party): "Next we honor on this Earth Day an inventor whose legacy has spread all over the Earth: Gordon Dancy. Ever heard of him? Gordon Dancy invented the first high-density plastic grocery bag, which can handle up to 40 pounds of stuff, more than your average homeless person can carry. That singular invention had benefited our daily life on Earth in multitudinous ways, and yet various cities want to outlaw this amazing intervention because somehow it pollutes. Yet, it is from the Earth, actually a derivative of oil.
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