The root of some of our problems

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The root of some of our problems

Post by C on Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:04 pm

This is a relocated blog entry along with it's posted
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Sunday, May 25, 2008
The root of some of our problems.
The RFP recently received this comment and would like to respond.

"The SJ article is partly right. The atitudes of a few are having a negative
affect on our town. But the problem is not the selectmen. The problem is those
who spend their precious time making mountains out of mole hills. Yes, the
selectmen have made mistakes, but to advocate public lynching for minor issues
is just wrong. Those who post attacks from the shadows of anonymity merely stir
the pot. They have no accountability for what they say, and they either
playfully or viciously tear people apart without due regard for the person's
feelings or reputation. This is shameful and those who do so need to come clean
and apologize to those they have wronged. Both "sides" have made mistakes, and
both have resorted to attacks. Perhaps now that this blog prohibits attacks, we
will see a more peaceful community. I wish that the Doar (blog) had never been
Opened. It has torn our community apart."


I agree almost completely. There are probably only a handful of people in town that have caused most of the problems. People have been viciously attacked and their reputations ruined. Itís painful to watch what people have gone through, especially those who try to serve the town. I think a lot of the reason for what went on at the Open Doar was in response to that. Of course you are right when you say both ďsidesĒ were involved in hurtful behavior.

Iím surprised that I havenít been challenged for not revealing my identity. I wonít because I donít want to be torn apart or have my family put through hell because I disagree with someone. That has happened often in this town and that is shameful. It feels to me to be just another version of town bullying. I donít believe that because I choose to remain anonymous, I canít run a good website that is constructive and helpful to the town though.

What I disagree with you about is what I perceive as the root of much of the problem in this town. I believe much of the problem started at TRR web site. That site attacks anyone that they disagree with and they write often with anonymity. I wonít get into everything here because weíve all seen it. I believe that site is what this editorial in the Sun Journal was referring to. When you publicly state some of the things they have stated, itís a normal human response for people to become angry.

I know that to bring this up here invites a continuation of some of the discord in our town. The alternative is to continue to live with such negative behavior. I believe itís our civic duty to try to make our town better and challenge those things that are hurtful to our town.

If you are thinking of writing something that personally attacks those that run that web site, donít bother. It wonít stay on here long. If you want to talk about what has gone wrong in our town and what you believe will make it better, weíd love to hear from you.

One last thing.

The Rumford Free Press is publicly challenging TRR to debate their ideas, thoughts and beliefs with clear thinking instead of name calling and personal attacks. That includes electronically and publicly.

That could only improve our town.
Posted by Rumford Free Press at Sunday, May 25, 2008
Labels: Community building
8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I must say your site is refreshing and gives people the chance for an arena where people can share their views and hopefully get some healthy and intellegent feed back that will help all of the residents to get some understanding of issues at hand instead of turning into a name calling, personel attack event. That is unhealty and only stirs up more discontent. Thank you for your promise to not let that happen in here. It really doesn't matter who you are. It's commendable that you were willing to open this site to try and give people a choice of productive discussions instead of all the other stuff we have seen in blogs recently. Hats off to you!!!!!!
May 25, 2008 11:45 AM
Anonymous said...

The problem in Rumford today is that people find issues and things that are going wrong with the town and the first thing they do is blame someone for it rather then find probolems and then find answers to the problem...In order to move on and make a better town we need answer not blame which what so many in our coummnity have done with name calling and rumors! this is not to say people should not be held responibile for their actions....they should but that is not a public matter where we call people out on a blog! We take people aside and deal with the matter privatly and that isn't to be down by townspeople either...that my friends is why we have a townmanger to deal with the people who work for the town!! So to move on we need ideas and not blame!! Be tough on issues and soft on people!
May 25, 2008 2:45 PM
C said...

I agree, a person wishing to remain anonymous should in no way discount the fact that they may have beneficial insight and ideas to contribute that could make a difference in our community. I can generate hundreds of ideas and am happy to share them. Do I want accountability or accolades? At this point it is a big resounding NO, will someone else take credit for some of my ideas? Perhaps, but so long as one of my ideas has started the ball rolling toward something good, I'm satisfied. I also have no desire to have myself or my family be the target of those who disagree in such malicious ways. My opinions are based on no personal agendas and some select people may feel "targeted" but these are people that have drawn my attention in one way or another. I'm simply trying to take a broad unbiased view of things and if I'm not, I certainly don't mind someone constructively pointing out what I'm missing.
May 25, 2008 5:19 PM
Anonymous said...

"Be tough on issues and soft on people!" What about those who break the law?? Do we let them get away with it just to pevent someone from feeling picked on?
May 25, 2008 11:36 PM
Anonymous said...
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
May 25, 2008 11:47 PM
Anonymous said...

when you break the Law you pay the price...My statement was not to make everyone feel good...you break the law you pay the price...but the first move shouldn't always be personal laying blame!! people need to own up to what they do but once they own up and are punished then it's times to move on not get bogged down in throwing mud!
May 26, 2008 1:39 PM
JC said...

I agree that people should own up to what they do. The problem lies in that everybody finds a way to justify their actions. The illegal audit of 2006 was justified as being necessary to assure the financial integrity of the town, despite the fact that the Charter and State Law were violated in the process. The approval of the $828K building renovations were justified as necessary despite the fact that the ballot did not offer a $0 option to the voters. The illegal attempted removal of the Charter Commission was justified on the issue that they were in violation of the rules/laws. Those who voted to do it eventually apologized, but the two who attempted to remove two selectmen and reprimand a third never have. What we see here is a pattern of "letting it go". It keeps the peace, but it does not maintain order. In the election there is a recall ordinance for the citizens to consider. The ordinance states that any selectmen can be subject to recall if he/she violates the bylaws twice. It should be interesting to see how everybody behaves next year. Based upon current behavior, some selectmen will have a difficult time staying in office for more than a month.
May 26, 2008 11:31 PM
Anonymous said...

I have to agree that being torn apart does happen when you get up at town meetings. I have been yelled at from the floor when at the podium, insulted on my way to my seat and yelled at outside, with my family present. I have seen things written about me that are untrue and degrading. I try to bring a voice of truth and a sense of what's practical to things but I don't get too worked up any more when things don't go the way I see it. That's because I worked hard on the cluster committee for the local church and ran afoul of some of the same people we have on our board. People started rumors and gossip that were untrue and destructive. I suffered and my children still suffer TREMENDOUSLY as a result. As I read in the papers about the upcoming price of oil and I wonder how they will heat that big church this winter, I ask myself what good it did do to see the future and not be able to make a difference? It wasn't because I wanted to "get my way" or because I'm "not from here"... sometimes I think others can't understand that people just want to belong to the community - to be part of life here where we've chosen to live. I recently found a new church. It's right across the street from my house. I can walk there and I feel welcome. How simple is that? My family just wants to feel welcome. I think I will start posting anonymously as well. I will still post as if my named were signed...because I think that's the right way to do it.
June 1, 2008 7:19 AM

C
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